So, one of the things that I do when I am stressed is hide. I literally ignore everyone and everything that is non essential for continued living. Things like say this blog. This is one of the things I am working on, as TALKING about why I am stressed instead of ignoring everything and burying my head in Pinterest is actually becoming a necessity. I can't imagine an infant letting me bury my head in the sand because something came up and mommy can't cope.
I am actually (for like one whole microsecond) not that stressed about the baby (and even as I say that my brain goes NOOO YOU MUST STRESS OR TERRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN) as I got to see my turtle the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Ya'll (s)he has BONES. Like legit, I am a real person, bones in his little hands and little feets and little itty bitty head. Really it's all to cute to stand and if I think about it too hard I may explode into a pile of sparkly glitter.
It's like every time I see him it becomes more real. Which I am a little in love with, I want this to be so REAL and every time I hit some milestone I'm so happy I could bust.
Also in the "milestone" category, I am actually starting to look pregnant. My belly has popped right out and is actually hard and organ-y as apposed to soft and gas-y (if that makes any sense) and I walk around stroking my little belly and making everyone look at it. Most politely tell me it looks great, though the Engineer informs me that it barely looks like I have anything going on. Oh well, still feels like a ginormous baby bump to me!
Now the stress part. For several months the Engineer had been looking for a new job as his old one wasn't cutting it anymore. He went back and forth MANY times between leaving, staying and where to go (he had 4 offers on the table at one point) (must be nice to be wanted huh?) and he finally made a decision. Now why is this stressful for me, after all this has been a many month process, it wasn't like it came out of left field. Well, the stress comes from speed. Once the Engineer made his decision we had an employment contract, a start date, a moving package and a relocation package within DAYS. It was zero to 120 in 6 seconds and it didn't leave me a lot of time to catch my breath, so stress.
As it stand now, my dear husband has moved as an advanced scout to start his new job and find us a house, so I am in Rochester and he is in St. Louis MO. 12 hours away, and we will be apart until our Rochester house gets sold and I can move to be with him. This also means putting in notice at my job, finding a new doctor, a new job, oh and a place to birth a child. No big. *bites nails* So even though I "knew" this was coming, the timetable was always so variable that I am just left feeling like a tornado hit and now I don't know where to begin the clean up.
Oh, and my beloved MIL (sarcasm inherent) is now tasked with "helping" me around the house. Read "helping" as "taking over and bugging the shit out of me while not actually letting me do anything, while simultaneously subtly bullying me about every choice I have ever made or may ever make again" *cough* I am so grateful for her help, but dude, pregnant, not a fucking invalid. Back off the momma. And please clean the litter and take out the trash as you leave.
So yeah, stress. I'm bad at it. But talking helps soo I'll be back.